2013

Is it really a new beginning?

Every new year, I sit down to review myself -- in actuality, I don't even have to sit down as the thoughts never leave my mind. But, I'm a little OCD so creating a list is organization and clarity in my mind. This year is not different, the list is already started. See:

JANUARY: start the change/easier said then done/allow for change(s) to happen

FEBRUARY: re-do my blog site/add Tatiana's playlist

MARCH: start the physical move (my body that is, if I haven't done it yet)

APRIL: remember my dad all month

MAY: focus on my mother

JUNE: get ready for my son's graduation - the pain and the relief

JULY:

AUGUST:

SEPTEMBER:

OCTOBER:

NOVEMBER:

DECEMBER:

The real difference is that I'm starting it here......with the world (or just a few folks) to see. I really want a change, a push, a bomb to launch me into the new me!
I will ignore my fears (really? can I do that?). I will hear from you (the good and the bad) and please, please let me know how you are doing. We will be a balance together, a yin and yang.

I promise to listen, encourage and maybe, inspire you! Which in turn, I hope will inspire me!

I have a lot of thoughts and ideas - and of course, I haven't put them down on paper completely yet, but this is exactly one of the things I hope to alter/change about me....complete what you say you will do! This is SO hard to do!

So today, Friday, I will.....take pictures of my messy/busy/crazy world and I will post them so you can see what I will do (probably slowly but surely). And I will keep track of what I'm feeling and share it with you.

are you an only child?

Okay, I am an only child. I have always wished that I could have had siblings. Of course, I enjoyed my parents attention only on me when I was little. But from the teens on, I dreamed of a brother or a sister. Now at 47 I am certainly over it.

Now, I come to terms with the responsibility of being an only child. Of taking care of my parents as their caregiver, financial advisor and their loving daughter. It's really hard sometimes but I am truly grateful. As it has shown me how to love deeper and on many levels especially with my own family.

Are you an only child too? How do you handle it all? Are you lonely sometimes, too? I'd love to hear how you deal with it everyday.

Where is the state of my heart?

In the midst of all the suffering around the world, I'm in constant search of PEACE. Looking for PEACE from Mother Earth through the sweet sounds of the birds and expectation of beauty from the flowers that are soon coming. I also look for PEACE from the people around me, and even though that is hard these days as tension fills the air around the house a lot, if I put my mind (and intent) on it, I find it.

I find PEACE when I look into my mother's small, but sparkling eyes as she asks me what day it is for the 12th time. I find PEACE when I connect with my father in weirdest way....sometimes it's just bumping our foreheads together. I find PEACE when I slow down and look at my two children and confirm to myself how amazing they have become. I find PEACE in my husband when, after a brief spat with my son, he honestly confirms to me that he wishes could just be more patient and will try next time.

It's all these moments in my life that help me deal with, well, life. With all the pain in the world today, we must look into our own state of hearts and assess.

Please share with me, if you want, where's your state of heart.

Blessings to all

My day was quiet and full of prayers for everyone in Japan.

Just another Thursday

I wasn't really awake today all day. Not sure why, especially since yesterday, with the start of Ash Wednesday, I told myself this would be a period of truthfulness and a fresh beginning. Maybe it was the rainy day. Maybe its just my over-worked daily grind. Whatever it is -- I hope tomorrow will be better.

Fruit salad making for our local Fish Fry sale

Finally it's time to START...

I love this time of the year. The gray sky turns yellow with the sun and like lightning, we all think it's Spring! It is also the Lenten season -- a period of 40 days that really inspires me to look within, try some changes and then, wait and listen. Some years I feel like (almost) a new woman and other years my focus is refreshed.

This year, after much thought about what I needed to change, I realized that I'm happy with me. The only change to come is with me writing. I want to write about what I feel, how the prayers affect me, how the music of the little birds outside my window make me feel all warm and cozy inside. This will be one of parts of my Lent promises. The others are no ice cream or soda (I always feel it's important to give up at least one thing!)

So, I thank you for stopping by and I look forward to reading some of your changes.